Shakespeare Language

I was once fencing Sir. Taylor when he called my mom a barbason. I became very bestraught against him. I fisted my bilbo and made a flightly punto into his plant. He fell to the ground while I pinked his body. I made a poop, as I looked at him he was blood-boltered and unmoving. I decided not to let his wallet go to waste so I bunged him.

Thy food is such as hath been belch'd upon by infected lungs.

Its basically saying that the food the person made was so bad it was as if somebody sick had coughed on it.